O’Snodiachaghaghachachaidh Latest

Tuesday, February 28th, 2012

20120228-144152.jpg

From our man on the ground under a camouflaged tarp JOE TAYLOR – DATELINE DUBLIN: O’Snodaigh says he is responsible for the cartridges but he knows nothing about the Canon. STOP PRESS STOP PRESS STOP PRESS

The Gaddafi Manoeuvre (Broadcast on 4fm 22.03.11)

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011

In which Michael Noonan seeks to use Gerry Adams’ specialist knowledge of Libya to take advantage of Col. Gadaffi’s current unpleasantness.
Read more »

Play

The Oscars (Broadcast on 4fm 28.02.2011)

Monday, February 28th, 2011

In which the party leaders each receive an Oscar nomination.

This sketch was written and performed by The Emergency and first broadcast on Timeless Hits 4fm on Feb 28 2011. It was recorded at Waveform Studios.

 

 

Play

George Hook And Mary Lou McDonald (Broadcast on 4fm 18.02.11)

Friday, February 18th, 2011

In which Sinn Féin candidate Mary Lou McDonald feels treated unfairly by George Hook.

This sketch was written and performed by The Emergency and first broadcast on Timeless Hits 4fm on Feb 18th 2011. It was recorded at Waveform Studios.

 

 

Play

The Class Of Inbred Gobshite Always Running For The Dail – GE2011 Update (Broadcast on 4fm 16.02.2011)

Wednesday, February 16th, 2011

This song was written and performed by The Emergency and first broadcast on Timeless Hits 4fm on Feb 16th 2011. It’s a new recording and the lyrics are updated for the General election 2011 from the original version elsewhere on this site. It was recorded at Waveform Studios.

 

 

 

Play

Poll of Polls Trends Indicate 1200% Increase In Polls And Polling By Polling Day – Poll

Thursday, February 3rd, 2011

An Emergency /lookoutthewindow Poll of Polls, the most comprehensive poll to date since the start of the election campaign, shows clear trends indicating that voters can expect a 1200% increase in polls and polling by polling day – the poll is to be published tomorrow and every four and a half hours from then until February 25th.

The poll, which has a margin of error of 83.17333333333333 clearly shows that polls conducted by Red C and Millward Browne/Lansdowne are within 67% of either gaining on eachother or settling an each way bet against Ipsos/MRBI which has a healthy lead of .75900% on it’s two main competitors, unless you hold the bar chart up at an angle to direct sunlight which shows the market research giant on course to relinquish up to 900% of it’s 210% ‘Easy Quotability At Dinner Parties” Rating.

The Emergency /lookoutthewindow shows a surprising growth in the dominance of so called ‘Independent Pollsters’ – a grouping which comprises Taxi Drivers, Hair Dressers/Barbers, Little Old Ladies Who Spend Ages At The Checkout Fumbling For Change In A Ridiculously Tiny Tartan Purse, And Fianna Fail Spindoctors. Since data from these polls is anecdotal and unpublished they don’t normally make it to the Poll of Polls, but there has been a marked increase of the incidence of otherwise virtual strangers asking eachother “What do you think about…?”; there has also been a commensurate rise in the amount of information these Independent Pollsters dispense, although in the case of the Fianna Fail Spindoctors this information exceeds the key Margin of Credibility by 86,000,000,000

Asked about his reaction to the latest poll MrKenGilMartinny of Fianna Labgael said “There is only one poll which counts”. Gerry Adams said something vaguely comprehensible about VAT situations in border Monaghans and the ULA weren’t asked anything at all.

ARE YOU SICK TO YOUR BACKTEETH OF POLLS? TAKE PART IN OUR POLL ON THE EMERGENCY HOMEPAGE

“Baron of the Manor of Northstead” To Stand For SF In Louth

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011

Baron of the Manor of Northstead Sir Gerry of Adams

Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye! By proclaimation of Her Most Brittanic Majesty Elizabeth II Regina and by declaration of her most honourable Prime Minister David Chinless, our most loyal disloyal subject Sir Gerard D’Adams has been appointed to the post of “Baron of the Manor of Northstead” – the better that he may piss orf.

He is your problem now paddy.

Love (and thanks for all the land)
Liz x

Cowen’s Garda Driver “Heard Nothing”

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

It has emerged this morning that a heave against acting Don of of the MaFFiana Fail crime family may be underway – this follows yesterday’s revelations in the Dáil that Mr Cowenleone dined in July 2008 in the company of two directors and one ex director of toxic bank Anglo and a government appointee to the Central Bank.

Also at the dinner in Druids Glen was Mr Cowenleone’s Garda driver, who you could expect to be of some use as a source of detailed information regarding the conversation at the dinner table on that fateful night.

Sadly this has proven to not be the case. The driver in question has stated that he did indeed join the company but after patting down the others for his boss the last thing that he understood was when Fintan Drury recommended the pasta vongole.

“After that” the Garda driver said “Mr Cowenleone told me that him and Seanie and the others was going to talk Italian to eachother and did I mind? Jaysus no chief says I and I ate me spag bol when it arrived and they all just jabbered away”.

When asked if he remembered anything specific or unusual from the night in question he furrowed his brow in deep concentration for almost three minutes before he answered “Yes. That spag bol tasted very fishy and was too feckin’ crunchy for my liking”.

STOP PRESS! Acting Taoiseach Denies Earlier Denial

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

Answering questions from Sinn Fein’s Keeeeveeen Oh Kwaaaaylawn as to who else was at the dinner table in Druids Glen on the evening of his fateful three ball, Brian Cowen has denied any knowledge of “Your ‘Earth game’ of golf”.

He also denied requiring food, but did say that he was a contestant on Come Dine With Me that week and said “It could have been that. Who can tell? You? Can you? I can’t going forward. Refute refute refutey fute fute. Now shag off, I’m off to get royally congested”

Free Song Download: The Class Of Inbred Gobshites Always Running For The Dáil

Thursday, December 30th, 2010

Resident “tenors” Dermot Carmody & Morgan C Jones warble to a traditional tune about the traditionally tiny gene pool of our elected representatives. Truly a sound strack for the New Year, as we face into General Election 2011…

 

Play