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	<title>The Emergency</title>
	<link>http://www.theemergency.ie</link>
	<description>Irish satire from Eoin Byrne, Dermot Carmody, Morgan C Jones, Karen Ardiff, Joe Taylor and Nick McGivney.</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:37:02 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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	<item>
		<title>Hush! Somethings Eating</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
&#8220;Just one more tiny little wafer thin voter&#8217;s paypacket&#8230;?&#8221;
]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/hush-somethings-eating/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>HSE &#8211; She Loves To Fly And It Shows</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Emergency Commercial Feature

]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/hse-she-loves-to-fly-and-it-shows/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>New Health Warning</title>
		<description><![CDATA[In these uncertain times, when you can&#8217;t be sure of your future, your job, or even a correct diagnosis, isn&#8217;t it good to know that some things never change? Little things, like Harney&#8217;s Simple Explanation

]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/new-health-warning/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Gardai Foil al-Qaeda Terror Cell In Sunni South East</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Artist&#8217;s impression of what a Waterford al-Qaeda member might look like
Gardai acting on information generated by  CIA (Clearly Insane American) sources have arrested seven people who they describe as being  “a bit araby like ye know?”.  The seven are suspected of wanting to kill a rather heavy handed Swedish cartoonist who drew [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/gardai-foil-al-qaeda-terror-cell-in-sunni-south-east/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Barry Gibb Resigns From BeeGees</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Barry Gibb resigning yesterday
The world of falsetto anchored disco was reeling last night following the announcement by Barry Gibb that he is to resign his position as Jive Talker and Disco King immediately. 
Stayin Alive?
Mr Gibb&#8217;s resignation throws more pressure on the limping crossover disco/folk album by the Bee Gees and folk group The Greens [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/barry-gibb-resigns-from-beegees/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Idiot Resigns From Shower</title>
		<description><![CDATA[
Minister for Arse All and Antics Martin Cullen pictured in happier days
Minister for Arse All and Antics Martin Cullen has tonight resigned from Cabinet and the Dáil due to the chronic backstory that has been troubling him severely in recent months.
Mr Cullen was unable to attend an event today with the president of Timor-Leste, Dr [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/idiot-resigns-from-shower/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Donegal Wind Energy Academy To Harness Coughlan Output By 2012</title>
		<description><![CDATA[A new Wind Energy Academy is to be established in Donegal as part of that county&#8217;s efforts to become the Wind Capital of Ireland.
The initial phase of the development of the Wind Academy will build on the existing Diploma In Light Breezes and its companion postgraduate MA course in Applied Puffing at the Letterkenny Institute [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/donegal-wind-energy-academy-to-harness-coughlan-output-by-2012/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Alan Dukes Proposes Anglo Irish As Third Banking Force</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Laid back banker and former politician Alan Dukes has proposed that Anglo Irish Bank could be reinvented as a &#8220;Third Banking Force&#8221; owned by the government and giving loans to business.

Banking Guru &#38; Amateur Sitarist, Alan Dukes
Speaking on Pat Kenny&#8217;s light-hearted radio programme &#34;Chuckles With Pat&#34; this morning, Mr. Dukes pointed out that we need [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/alan-dukes-proposes-anglo-irish-as-third-banking-force/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Retirement Age To Be Raised To 125</title>
		<description><![CDATA[Acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen yesterday launched a comprehensive reform of the pension system, including the eventual raising of retirement age to 125. Additionally there will be a soft mandatory pension contribution (which does not involve hammers) on all workers aged 12 and over by 2014.

A Typical Pension Under The New Scheme
Workers who die before reaching [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/retirement-age-to-be-raised-to-125/</link>
			</item>
	<item>
		<title>Gormley May Leave Cabinet As Greens To Rotate</title>
		<description><![CDATA[The Minister for the Environment and Green Party leader John Gormley may leave the cabinet under a brilliant rotational plan covering the Green cabinet members. Under a scheme designed to ensure that there is an upper limit to the inevitable corruption of Green Party cabinet ministers, it is suggested that Gormley promised to step aside [...]]]></description>
		<link>http://www.theemergency.ie/breaking-news/gormley-may-leave-cabinet-as-greens-to-rotate/</link>
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