Where Were You…..?

A President Lincoln

Thousands still remember the day that they turned on the wireless, 148 years ago this year, to hear veteran newscaster Charles Veteran-Newscaster reading the now legendary news that legendary veteran American President Abraham Lincoln had been assassinated in legendary veteran country America.

Sad Day For Ireland
But where were you when you first heard the news that several years ago an American president had succumbed to a legendary veteran assassin’s bullet?

Conspiracy Theories
What shadowy figures are responsible for cutting this paragraph short? Was it the legendary shadowy veteran Brendan [REDACTED]?

RTE Special Programme of Rememberfulnessness
Legendary veteran State broadcaster RTE will run a special 89 days of programming remembering the life and times of President Lincoln who’s family emigrated en masse from Ballydung Co. Laois one Tuesday afternoon at 3.17pm on March 20th 1798. Probably.

Tubridy Documentary
Legendary veteran young fogey Ryan Tubridy will present a nine part documentary covering the historic visit he made to the Lincoln homestead in Ballydung only 27 years after his birth in leafy Blackrock. Using a state of the art onion Tubridy visibly holds back tears as he looks off camera toward the runner holding his latte.

But Seriously, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU? Eh? Eh?
The RTE book which ties in with the series I Never Met Lincoln But He Was Tall And Wore Suits Too Just Like Me by Ryan Tubridy is available from all good State broadcasters just I’m time for Xmas. It is an offense not to own a copy and offenders face a fine or 12 month prison sentence in legendary veteran prison Mountjoy Jail

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