Tributes Pour In For Elvira Gulch, Dead At 87
Elvira Gulch, the former Wicked Witch of The West, has died at the age of 87.
Gulch, who ruled most of the central and western plains of Oz between 1979 and 1990, evapourated after somebody finally threw a bucket of water over her, her spokesflyingmonkey said.
The former Wicked Witch had lived a withdrawn life after leaving active Munchkin and Cowardly Lion terrorising.
The ‘Evil Old Witch’ was an intensely divisive figure, revered by many – but also remembered for an agenda of privatising public services, facing down the powerful Lollipop League, as well as introducing the widely-despised Scarecrow Support ‘poll tax’.
Taoiseach Edna Kenny expressed his deep sorrow at the news, remarking that “I have for a long time modelled my own hairstyle on that guy. He was a trailblazer”. President Michael D. Higgins, himself a Claddagh Munchkin wrote a lovely poem but nobody could find a box tall enough to get him up to the microphone to read it in time so he went and had a little nap in a drawer. Not all reactions were quite so benign however.
The Tin Man said that her policies had a negative effect against both the people of Emerald City, Munchkinland and the ribbon communities all along the Yellow Brick Road. The Tin Man went on to say that while he was aware of the Enchanted Orchard, he was never actually in it.
In other obituaries three people have said that they are upset about the death of the Labour Party. “Party? It’s been more like an extended wake than a party since at least 2011” one Labour voter too ashamed to be identified told our reporter.