Thierry Henry Joins Cromwell, FitzPatrick and McSharry in National Hate League

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Thierry Henry’s double handball in last night’s match which saw the Republic of Ireland’s hopes cruelly dashed by an unjust and unpunished act, has landed the French player a place in one of the most exclusive clubs in the world, and its based right here in Ireland – The League of Complete and Utter, and I Truly Mean Utter Bastards.

Welcoming it’s newest member last night, the Club Assistant Vice-President, Taoiseach (acting) Brian Cowen issued a statement through a spokesmonkey, who told reporters that Mr Cowen said: “… Mr Henry’s membership proved that there was no room for elitism among Ireland’s elite, as long as they remained elite” the spokesmonkey said. He then went on to clarify: “..at least that what it sounded like. To be honest he gets a bit mumbly and drony after a certain hour.”

Thierry Henry is a surprise addition to the club’s roll of honour, rubbing shoulders as he does with almighty turds from the fields of Irish politics, finance and construction among others. Founder members of the club Bertie Ahern and ‘Seanie’ Fitzpitrick were detained briefly by undercover detectives guarding Mr Henry when they tackled him to the ground and went through his pockets, apparently for his wallet. Explaining the misunderstanding later on the former Taoiseach and professional gambler said “Dere was nothing untoward…Seanie and me…I mean I….yes…I and me were only trying to give the fella eh eh eh eh eh de eh de de de de de bumps to welcome him to de club is all. Sure Tierry Henry and me know each udder well in fact its was me em em ehhhh dat noviciated him for the club in de eh in de eh first place”.

The League of Complete and Utter, and I Truly Mean Utter Bastards meets wherever and whenever it damned well pleases and has but one aim, which is reflected in the club motto: Urinate totus super Hibernia , Hibernianus , aufero suum argentum, quod attero lemma (Piss all over Ireland, the Irish, remove their dosh, and destroy them)

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One Response to “Thierry Henry Joins Cromwell, FitzPatrick and McSharry in National Hate League”

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