The Austeribility Treaty: A Euroserf’s Guide
Tomorrow you will be asked to vote on the Fiscal Stability Treaty Referendum. This contains many important changes to Irish law. This contains no changes to what we’ve already agreed to.
Under the new Treatment governments will have to keep their deficit within 0.5% of PANP (Pixie-Adjusted National Product). This is a new measure which takes its starting point as GDP (German Demands for Pawns) but allows for adjustment by a team of specialist pixies in Brussels.The Pixies will take into account such factors as: Whatever.
In the event of Ireland requiring a further bailout from a special fund which doesn’t exist but which is expected to be enough to bail out Spain and a small town in Italy, God willing, we will only have access to such funs if we ratify this treaty. As the funds aren’t enough it doesn’t really matter but we must send out a strong message to pixies everywhere that we dig their crazy dust. It is only by constant influx of Pixie Dust that the Irish economy can achieve the growth necessary to create a job.
If Ireland does not ratify the treaty it will be put into effect anyway, so you can see how important it is for us to do so.
You will be asked to vote “Yes” or “No” to the following:
The State may ratify the Treaty on Austeribility, Co-ordination and Governance in the Economic and Monetary Union done at Brussels on the 2nd day of March 2012. No provision of this Constitution invalidates stuff necessitated by the obligations of the State under that Treaty or prevents stuff done by bodies competent under that Treaty from having the force of law in the State. That’d be mad.
Good luck with that now.