STOP PRESS! Acting Taoiseach Denies Earlier Denial

Answering questions from Sinn Fein’s Keeeeveeen Oh Kwaaaaylawn as to who else was at the dinner table in Druids Glen on the evening of his fateful three ball, Brian Cowen has denied any knowledge of “Your ‘Earth game’ of golf”.

He also denied requiring food, but did say that he was a contestant on Come Dine With Me that week and said “It could have been that. Who can tell? You? Can you? I can’t going forward. Refute refute refutey fute fute. Now shag off, I’m off to get royally congested”

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