Runaway Government Collides With Economy

The country was injured, much of it seriously, when a runaway government collided with an Economy at the junction of Molesworth Street and Kildare Street in Dublin City centre yesterday afternoon.

The two-party Coalition Government was lurching relentlessly to a halt when it collided with the Economy shortly before 3pm. The Economy was derailed in the crash.

bus-luas
Our picture shows the runaway govenment’s driver (with enormous head) still trapped at the scene while his conductor attempts to stagger clear of the wreckage

A spokeswoman for Coalition Government operator FiannaFailure confirmed several people “…possibly up to four million or so give or take”, had been injured in the crash, but insisted that ultimately they would feel even healthier than they ever had felt before being struck by the out of control vehicle of state.

She said the company had begun an investigation into the incident but it was too early to give more precise details into the circumstance behind the collision.

The spokeswoman also confirmed that the number FF/GREEN Government involved in the incident was carrying a full load of bankers and property developers and was travelling northward away from Penury when it was involved in the collision with the Economy.

Meanwhile, the major banks are requesting members of the public not to attend their branch network until further notice due to the collision.

Eye-witnesses said that the out of control government appeared to be driven by an inept man who in spite of “having an enormous head, truly enormous” was “unsteady on his feet”. The driver “…seemed to be half cut out of the government” one man told us, before continuing on his journey home to explain to his kids how they would be living in a cardboard box from now on

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2 Responses to “Runaway Government Collides With Economy”

  1. Eamonn Casey Says:

    Shocking. Sick. In poor taste. People were injured. None of this would have happened if we still had bus conductors.

  2. Morgan C. Jones Says:

    Indeed. A correctly regulated Financial Sector and the threat of long jail terms for FF associated white collar scum would’ve helped too….but there’s old anarchist Morgs pipe dreaming again… eh?

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