Robinson Thought To Be “A Wee Bit Upset”

Our pictures are worth thousands of words. A devastated Peter Robinson lost his key seat in East Belfast and now faces the prospect of losing his rank as First Minister and Sourest Looking Man In The Village to boot.

BEFORE

A happy go lucky Peter Robinson is snapped in a relaxed moment after visiting the gents at the count centre

AFTER

Stripped of his earthly glory…. Veteran Unionist watcher Kemp McCardle describes the key shift in the former First Minister’s expression: “Aye, he still looks sour right enough…but ye can tell that he’s just not enjoying it”

DATELINE – Lurgan, Northern Ireland: An experienced Unionist watcher, who has spent the last eighteen years living among the loyalist community in Northern Ireland, this morning told reporters that “Yon DUP lad there is upset” – that’s according to his expert reading of the scant facial expressions made by DUP leader Peter Robinson.

Kemp McCardle claims he has lived with Unionists for so long by staying in a specially constructed hide disguised as a bowler hat. McCardle’s wife Maureen disputes this claim and asserts that her husband is a workshy layabout.

In other news, Britain has a….new…..ehhhh….

Our man in a bowler hat Kemp McCardle displaying his ‘hide’

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One Response to “Robinson Thought To Be “A Wee Bit Upset””

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