Poll of Polls Trends Indicate 1200% Increase In Polls And Polling By Polling Day – Poll

An Emergency /lookoutthewindow Poll of Polls, the most comprehensive poll to date since the start of the election campaign, shows clear trends indicating that voters can expect a 1200% increase in polls and polling by polling day – the poll is to be published tomorrow and every four and a half hours from then until February 25th.

The poll, which has a margin of error of 83.17333333333333 clearly shows that polls conducted by Red C and Millward Browne/Lansdowne are within 67% of either gaining on eachother or settling an each way bet against Ipsos/MRBI which has a healthy lead of .75900% on it’s two main competitors, unless you hold the bar chart up at an angle to direct sunlight which shows the market research giant on course to relinquish up to 900% of it’s 210% ‘Easy Quotability At Dinner Parties” Rating.

The Emergency /lookoutthewindow shows a surprising growth in the dominance of so called ‘Independent Pollsters’ – a grouping which comprises Taxi Drivers, Hair Dressers/Barbers, Little Old Ladies Who Spend Ages At The Checkout Fumbling For Change In A Ridiculously Tiny Tartan Purse, And Fianna Fail Spindoctors. Since data from these polls is anecdotal and unpublished they don’t normally make it to the Poll of Polls, but there has been a marked increase of the incidence of otherwise virtual strangers asking eachother “What do you think about…?”; there has also been a commensurate rise in the amount of information these Independent Pollsters dispense, although in the case of the Fianna Fail Spindoctors this information exceeds the key Margin of Credibility by 86,000,000,000

Asked about his reaction to the latest poll MrKenGilMartinny of Fianna Labgael said “There is only one poll which counts”. Gerry Adams said something vaguely comprehensible about VAT situations in border Monaghans and the ULA weren’t asked anything at all.

ARE YOU SICK TO YOUR BACKTEETH OF POLLS? TAKE PART IN OUR POLL ON THE EMERGENCY HOMEPAGE

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