Pointless Budget Speculation Latest

Buying the continued ‘loyalty’ of the independents, spending on a really definitive amphibian census for the state and addressing the issue of crossborder shopping have emerged as key issues following last night’s cabinet meeting to discuss Budget 2010 The Buggering

Flambouyant Kerry Independent Jackie Really-Madd has been telling everyone and everything he encounters that he has secured a promise to build a 44 bed hospital in Kenmare. “Gallla parr wooo-arragh g’wan sallah Kerryah binn aroooya” he screamed at passing journalists.

Sensitive Green Leader John Gormley rediscovered his environmental side by ensuring that taxpayers money would be spent where it was most needed at this difficult time, counting frogs – thought by many commentators to be of systemic importance to the Green Party.

Minister for Indefensible Statements Willie O’Dea (pictured) meanwhile was keen to promote his pet proposal on reducing the impact of crossborder shopping on embattled retailers in the Republic. “I tink it’s high time lads, high time, that unpatriotic shoppers be stopped just outside a new Dundalk Exclusion Zone, and be executed by members of the Irish Army, or failing that, armed squads of privately funded security guards. It’s all dey’ll understand lads, seriously”. Asked by reporters what Plan ‘B’ (if any) was, the Limerick TD said only “Invasion” before stalking off humming the theme to The Dambusters

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