PEACE IN OUR TIME – CIVIL WAR DECLARED OVER
The moment of truce – civil war ends as a communique arrives from Fine Gael’s Mount Street HQ
Its the day few dared to hope for but today, nearly ninety years since it commenced, the Irish Civil War is finally coming to an end. Blueshirt senatorial stalwarts Paul Bradford and Pascal Donohue have proposed a truce with Fianna Fail – their overtures have been greeted warmly by Terry Leyden, a long standing buFFoon on the other side of the upper chamber.
The question on everyone’s lips is “How will it work” – by the execution of both party leaders if leaked surrender terms are anything to go by.
Alan Shatter, a well known inert gas, pictured with a surrender document
The only pity is for outgoing Fine Gael leader Edna Kenny, who has just taken delivery of stirring ‘new look’ election leaflets designed to catapult him and his party into office with an unprecedented 100% Dail majority. This nowlooks doomed to failure, and Edna will be consigned to history as the greatest first female Taoiseach we never had.
Too little, too late – not even flashy new stylee election literature can help Kenny now
There are unconfirmed reports that Paul Gogarty, known as one of Gormleys’ right hand men has crash landed a fighter plane in the Outer Hebrides and has demanded to be taken to the shops to sue for peace and biscuits