Gazza Brings Michael McDowell Lager, Chicken, A Mobile Phone And Something To Keep Him Warm And Claims To Be His Pal

FEAR: Surveilance footage of the former PD Leader who has been spouting nonsense in public following his escape from captivity in the Phantom Zone for the second time in as many weeks

Former England footballer Paul Gascoigne tonight arrived in Ranelagh to offer his support for Michael McDo-ill.

Talking to Metro Radio the 43-year-old appeared to suggest he had brought the deranged former Tainiste and PD Leader a “can of lager, some chicken, a mobile phone and something to keep warm”.

He added: “He is willing to give in now. I just want to give him some therapy and say ‘come on Maccy, it’s Gazza’.
“He is alright – simply as that and I am willing to help him. I have come all the way from Newcastle to Ranelagh to find him, have a chat with him.

“I guarantee, Maccy, he won’t shoot me. I am good friends with him.”
Geordie Gazza, who has battled with drink for much of his adult life, is a frequent visitor to Ranelagh as he believes the number 11 bus to be a deeply spiritual sentient hive being.

He famously fell off the wagon in the leafy south Dublin suburb in 1999, while still a footballer, when locals reported seeing him having a long conversation with “several people made out of thin air”.

Reacting with shock to the news Gascoigne was in Ranelagh, his agent Kenny Shepherd said: “Oh Christ, not again, He’s doing what? I am sitting having an evening meal in Majorca. I’m speechless. I’ll call you back after the EastEnders omnibus and the karaoke”

JOY: McDo-ill is imprisoned in the Phantom Zone in 2007

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