“Parasitic Fungus” Chauffeured In State Cars Scandal

In a late breaking shock development on reports in yesterday’s Irish Sunday Ihateforiegners concerning misuse of a state car and driver by the Attorney General’s dog, scientists at University College Oughterard have this morning revealed that a parasitic fungus has for several years been driven around at tax payers’ expense in official vehicles and even on the government jets.

The fungus, which is scum like in appearance and consistency, has been identified and classified as F1-ANA-FA11, a most dangerous and persistent parasite according to Dr Pearse Lobe of the TCD Dept of Political Science at UCO: “This thing is tenacious, motivated and worst of all cornered – and it knows only one thing, namely how to survive…on about €4K a day in some extreme cases we’ve seen in the lab”

It seems that there is little hope of respite from the ongoing drain on public resourses. F1-ANA-FA11 and it’s associated symbiotes 1-XPD and TWATS seem set to ravage the country for some forseeable time; but is there any hope? Dr Pearse Lobe thinks that there may be.

“Some of us are pinning our hopes on H1-N1 wiping them all out” he told reporters

willie o'dea
Minister for Defence Willie O’Dea pictured earlier last week relaxing in Limerick

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