“Olli Spice”: Full Text Of EU Commissioner Rehn’s Message For The Irish People
The Emergency Breaking News has exclusive advance text of an address to the Irish People due to be made from a beach by EU Commissioner Olli Rehn later today:
“Hello, Bog Pigs. Look at your country. Now back to me. Now back at your country. Now back to me.
“Sadly your country isn’t me, but if it stopped using banky-scented hogwash and switched to Olli Spice, it could smell like it’s me.
“Look down. back up. Where are you? You’re on a boat floating in an endless ocean of shite with the man your country could smell like.
“What’s in your hand? Back at me. I have it, It’s an oyster with two one way tickets to that country you’d love to emigrate to. Look again. The tickets are now free cheese.
“Any f*cked up shit is possible when your country smells like Olli Spice and not a greasy FF septic tank mishap.
“I’m on a pig.”