O’Donoghue To Come Clean Over Expenses While Ceann Comhairle

The Ceann Comhairle John I’Donallyou pictured hard at it

CEANN COMHAIRLE John I’Donallyou has strongly indicated that he does not intend to resign from his position by promising “detailed proposals” to allay ongoing concerns over his foreign travel expenses.

Mr O’Donoghue said in a statement last night that he will present “detailed proposals” to the Houses of the Oireachtas Commission at its meeting tomorrow. The proposals, he said, will be “proposals” . They are expected to be “detailed”.

Responding to the recent criticisms by Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny, who suggested that the lights should be turned off and the misappropriated monies “if any” be left anonymously on the table nearest the door to the Dail chamber, the Ceann Comhairle pointed out that it was not safe to leave sums of cash unguarded for any length of time around Fianna Fail members in general and former Taoiseach Bertie Ahern in particular.

Master of understatement and Labour leader Eamon Gilmore described the continued discovery of Mr I’Donallyou’s expenses regarding foreign travel spending, and of the increased staffing in his office as a “pattern of extravagance”.

Green Party leader John Gormley interupted his enjoyment of a lentil to add his voice to those calling for a detailed response from the Ceann Comhairle. He likened the ongoing controversy to a “running sore” and said it was “a heavy scene guys”.

Mr O’Donoghue travelled from his home in Cahirciveen, Co Kerry, by normal old fashioned ‘land car’ yesterday to Dublin as a penance. In the capital he meets advisers, flunkeys, his pissboy and his visier to formulate a response.

Leaks on this response are indicating what it may be: 20% favour Feck off!; 67% polled believed the answer will be Mine! Keepsies!!; while 13% can’t do maths

Fianna Fail meanwhile has closed ranks to defend their honourable colleague from an opposition who they know will bare their teeth only so far for fear of upsetting the gravy train for everyone.

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