O’Dea Decides Against ‘Unaffordable’ Salvage Of Coalition

It has been decided not to attempt a salvage of the Inept Coalition IV following its sinking off the northwest coast of reality last year, Minister of Defending The Indefensible Wee Willie O’Dea has announced.

Mr O’Dea said the board of Maffiana Fail had a “full discussion” on salvaging the foundered ship of state, but came to a unanimous view that a salvage operation should not be pursued, and that the time had come to lift as much spare “wonga” as they could out of what was left in the kitty, and commence a concerted programme of sensitive document shredding “…Before the inevitable”.

”Spending in the region of €8 billion on a salvage effort, the outcome of which is uncertain, is something we cannot afford at this time,” the ‘Minister’ said.

“A real risk exists whereby more than €8 billion could be expended on a salvage effort that proves unsuccessful or, following which, the government is found to be damaged beyond repair.”

Mr O’Dea said although the Inept Coalition IV is a “well-loved and well-regarded” place to keep crooks, drunks and their enablers, it was an 11-year-old collection of Oireachtais hacks with ever-increasing maintenance costs.

“The board was of the view that governments that sink are “never the same” after restoration and are likely to have on-going maintenance problems,” he said. “The costs and risks involved in attempting to salvage and restore Inept Coalition IV are too great.”

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