Monorail Project To Varadkarville May Get Priority

The Minister for Transport, Leo Varadkar has hinted that rather than the Luas DXD Link or Metro North projects, a third transport initiative “Leorail” may get the nod in Spetember.

The proposed Leorail line would run from everywhere to the newly designated Varadkarville Development Region in Dublin South. It would be the first ever supersonic monorail outside Dinsneyland and the first in the world to harness the power of the Fine Gael minister’s ego.


All Aboard The LeoRail To Varadkerville: Choo!! Choo!!

Scientists working in the Varadkar Institute Of Stuff recently identified highly charged particles of pure ego, which are released when Leo Varadkar and an opportunity to say something collide at speeds close to that of light. Experiments took place in an underground Varadkon Collider, deep beneath the surface of Tallaght (soon to be re-named Varadkarville West).

The monorail will cost more than Metro North and Luas DXD combined, but Mr. Varadkar has hinted that it could potentially generate up to 4 billion cubic kilometres of precious gaseous hubris for the region. The trains will be unmanned and driven purely by untrammelled ambition or an iPhone app, depending on the results of tests currently being carried out by boffins on specially adapted Hornby set. Journey time to Varadkarville from anywhere in the country will be an average of instantaneous.

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