Minister Apologises For TV Outburst

#1 mm sith
Our picture shows the moment that Foreign Affairs Minister Michael Martin unleashes ‘Sith lightning’ at an unsuspecting Joe Higgins MEP during last night’s televised debate moderated by feisty current affairs amazon Miriam O’Calaghan

The Minister for Foreign Affairs Michael Martin this morning apologised to Socialist Party MEP Joe Higgins for unleashing a concentrated burst of ‘Sith lightning’ at him during last night’s Lisbon special debate on RTE’s Prime Time.

Mr Martin, who was representing the coalition’s Yes campaign in his capacity as being anyone but Brian Cowen, was responding to a query on the Lavelle judgement when his focus momentarily slipped and he accidentally bathed Mr Higgins in eerie ectoplasmic sparks which emanated from his fingertips – the Socialist MEP proved none the worse for the wear remarking “Its the podium I would feel sorry for, thankfully it absorbed most of the blast. In any case, as a professed atheist Jedi mind tricks tend not to have any effect on me”. In his apology Minister Martin put the outburst down to a busy schedule “…and basically a mild hatred of left wing people and the left generally in fairness I suppose”

The debate also featured lobbyist and former European Parliament President Pat Cox debating against Mary-Lou McDonald of Sinn Fein in a fetching red blazer and white parachute ensemble from Miss Provie of Belfast; and in the ‘heavyweight’ bout of the night, Ryanair sphincter Michael O’Leary faced Libertarse supremo Declan Ganley. Though coming more than half an hour after Minister Martin’s Sith lightning outburst, the businessmen found that the Dark Side of the FForce caused more than a few gremlins. At one point the live debate appeared to jump about in time almost as if it was a recording – and worst of all the microphones worked perfectly, treating viewers to exactly the same tired jibes both sides had traded on an earlier debate on Today FM.

In other news, gardai had to intervene at the National Ploughing Championships in Athy when a final day walkabout by acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen turned into a riot as he was pursued by a mob of parents and small children looking for photographs who had mistaken him for a giant promotional Mister Potato Head.

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