Lowry: Eejits Ready For Casino Culture

Popular character and renowned geezer Michael Lowry, the independent TD for North Tipperary had hit back at critics of the massive casino resort which has received planning permission for a site in Two-Mile Borris.

Critics have said that large casino resorts of this type are not viable in Ireland where the market will not support it. At present twenty-five scratch cards, eighty GAA Lotto tickets and a single line (plus) for the Euromillions are sold on average weekly in Two-Mile Borris. There is no professional roulette facility in the area as such, but locals often bet on which cow will roll over first and beetle drives are moderately popular. “That’s a start and it shows Two-Mile is ready for casino culture”, insists Mr. Lowry.

Two-Mile Borris

Michael Lowry, A Cow & Two-Mile Borris

Other local politicians have welcomed any development which will mean jobs in the area. Applications for a 5,000 metre high ski lift, a dolphin-watch facility and a Volcanic Eruption theme park were narrowly defeated and not awarded planning permission at the same time the casino was given the green light.

“It’s great news altogether”, enthused local green-light manufacturer Thomas O’Toole. “The erection of the green light alone will provide me with six months work”.

Mr. Lowry has vowed to complete the development within 3 years. “Ireland got where it is because of the profligacy of eejits who haven’t a bog what they’re doing but who patriotically went fecking crazy. We got into this mess by throwing money around like cow shite, and by janey we’ll get out of it the same way. Leave the envelope in the big fridge on the way out”, he explained.

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