Lenihan Moves To Reassure Voters On Nama

Finance Minister Lendusafiver showing how high the average taxpayer may expect the sewage to rise: “It’s only for ten years or so, if you hold your breath you’ll feel great afterwards”

Finance mininster Brian Lendusafiver moved to quell disquiet today among voters ahead of the second day of the debate on the draft Nama legislation despite having a sore shoulder. It is believed that Mr Lendusafiver put his back out some time late last night owing to the queue of senior bankers who spent much of yesterday evening clapping him on the back.

The Nama legislation has provoked a mixed reaction. Taxpayers for some inexplicable reason appear to be broadly not in favour of the plan as outlined yesterday to pay an estimated €54billion of their money out to soulless bastards who caused the Irish economic crisis. Commentators in the media, particularly on RTE are broadly in favour but this may be because they are more used to accepting unsubstantiated spin from people that they will be rubbing shoulders with in nice restaurants. Several senior members of the finance community were contacted for comment, but their mouths were too full of quail egg and caviare to be understood.

The Irish economy was 87. It will be interred in a shoe box behind government buildings later next week following a short service.

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