Leinster House To Be Renamed The IMF Stadium

In a sponsorship deal believed to worth 500% of Ireland’s GDP, The International Monetary Fund is to contribute massively towards the redevelopment of Ireland.

Plans for the new Ireland will be available for the public to view shortly in a cupboard at the IMF headquarters in Washington DC. The plan is expected to involve the demolition of the existing Ireland, providing jobs for Four million Irish people each of whom will be employed to destroy himself or herself to make way for one of the new slimline “population units” to be introduced by 2015.

The New Look Oireachtas - Now Called The IMF Stadium

The first phase of the plan will involved the redevelopment of Leinster House in to a giant open-air puppet theatre. The new Leinster House will be named “The IMF Stadium” and will provide seating for up to 166 marionettes as well as 60 new sock puppets (formerly known as “senators”).

Minister for Finance Brian Lenihan welcomed the development in a statement: “The fact that the IMF is willing to accept the blood of three generations of Irish citizens as loan collateral is proof yet again of Positive International Opinion in favour of the Tough Decisions made by this ‘Government’. We have turned a corner and are feverishly applying opposite lock – a manoeuvre which should reduce the loss of life to Irish citizens to less than 60%”.

The new oireachtas, The IMF Stadium will be aggressively marketed in a unique voting package offer which will see lucky punters able to vote in a Fianna Fail government for the next four general elections by purchasing a special 4-for-1 Golden Ballot. The package is competitively priced at €22 billion a shot.

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