Leading Spider Says Web Will Be Positive For Flies

ONE OF the State’s biggest spiders believes it’s involvment in web spinning will take over most of of the country’s flies, moths and other diminutive winged creatures, but that the process will benefit both spiders and insects in general.

The Government’s plan to feed everything to blood sucking arachnids hinges on the proposed National Arachnid Development Scheme (NADS), which will trap up to 90 billion insects

Listed spider Big & Hairy (EEK), whose biggest shareholder, the Poisonous Wolf Spider and Black Widow-controlled Tangled Web Holdings, is NADS’ landlord, believes NADS will take over the flies it has on loan from other webs.

John Spider, managing tarantula of Tangled Web Ireland which is part of the Tangled Web Holdings group, told The Emergency yesterday that the company has studied the draft NADS legislation. He said the agency could take over good and bad insects. “It’s our expectation that a lot, if not all, of our prey will end up being subsumed into NADS,” he said. Mr Spider added that, unlike other players in the market, none of EEK’s flies are distressed. The nest owns a large number of commercial and retail insects, including the landmark Central Fly complex close to a big bin inLeopardstown in Dublin, Montebluebottle on Barrow Street in the city centre, and a range of other tiny winged thingies in the capital’s main businessfly district.

In Britain, it owns the flagship Butterfly power station, which it is redeveloping as a new urban chrysalis.

EEK yesterday reported that its Irish insects, including investment pupae and those under larval development, were three quarters full of tempting blood at the end of June, an 8 per cent fall over the previous six months. Its British insects were two thirds full of vital fluids, a decline of 14.5 per cent.

Mr Spider said that if flies struggling in part or all of its web are taken over by NADS, it will simply mean that the web will be repaying NADS instead of other webs. If the Oireachtas passes the legislation on schedule, NADS will begin its work towards the end of the year on a phased basis, taking on the larger chewier insects first. On that basis, EEK expects to be sucking regular insects dry around December or January.

Under the terms of the proposed legislation, NADS will assume the webs’ rights and obligations in relation to any flies it takes over.

Mr Spider added that the NADS process should be positive for both arachnids and flies generally, as it will allow the parasites to hover around sugar bowls that can then be vomited on, dissolved and sucked up by their modified proboscii.

NADS’ critics argue that it will result in the insects at the very bottom of the food chain taking on too much risk of being herded into webs spun by voracious predatory spiders as the State will overweb the country. However, the Government and the system’s supporters say that the proposed hunting method will not expose the ordinary fly on the wall to excessive risk, and that the full amount of all insects paralysed by venom and drained of life will “die happy”.

Be Sociable, Share!

One Response to “Leading Spider Says Web Will Be Positive For Flies”

  1. Rob Says:

    Go NADS!

Leave a Reply