Knights of Renua Manifesto Launched
The Knights of Renua yesterday launched a spellcheck free and numerically confusing 2016 Pretendy Election Manifesto with a proposed ‘three strikes rule’ that will result in an automatic mandatory life sentence after “2 persons is convicted of a serious offence for a fifth time”.
Party leader Ms Lucinda Kylreighton took time away from staring darkly at the melted helmet of feared PD Sith Lord Michael MacDowell to explain the measure as contained in the the party’s manifesto to journalists who were ignoring actual news stories in favour of free sandwiches and coffee.
The 74-page document states:
“People of Jakku. Contained in these 57 pages our an outline of are commands. You will return the map of Mayri Harnii to my shock troops or face annhia…ankiallay….annhia. …being blown into little pieces. If you reed these 143 payges closely you will discover how a life under the Knights of Renua will benefit not only business in you’re community, but also banks and bankers in you’re communities…”
The pages of closely written red and black crayon are currently being assessed by a team of psychiatric professionals.
It is estimated that delusions of fitness to legislate have run into costs of several billions in the past decades. Coupled with “Stockholm Goldfish Syndrome” affecting up to one in every three Irish voters it’s a heady mix that can enable politicians to fly first class, overeat, think they can act sophisticated in front of French people and declare war on Disneyland.