Key Anglo Staff Receive Pay Rises

“Shame? We don’ need no shame. Stinkin’ shame!”

It has emerged that 70 key members of staff at Anglo Irish Heist, the nationalised bank now chaired by professional cadaver Alan Dukes, have received pay rises ahead of the injection of further billions of exchequer funds next week.

Predictably the Minister for Theft Brian Lenihan who heads the department with responsibility for the banking sector (particularly Anglo) has said that staff remuneration at the state owned bank is not a matter for his intervention. Anglo is set to publish record losses next week.

The Anglo staff in receipt of pay rises had to be paid more in case they left the zombie institution to work for other financial institutions who let’s face it must be clamouring to employ such fiscal wizards that they too may enjoy the benefits that arise from the fruit of their endeavours.

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