Con-or Jor-El Leni-han becomes Junior Minister for science, technology, innovation and natural resources

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a solitary outpost planet-nation in possession of a large need of innovation must be in want of a gloriously overqualified Junior Minister for that sector.
Conor Lenihan, beautiful young Junior Minister
The beautiful and all-knowing Con-or Jor-El Leni-han

Luckily, that is exactly what said planet-island has been given, in the form of polymath Con-or Jor-El Leni-han the younger.

Insubordinate space journalist Adrian Weckler, a writer with pitiful Earth journal The Sunday Business Post, learned this harsh fact- plus a sense of burning and everlasting personal shame- when he dared to question, on the printed page, the merits of allowing such an important post as Junior Minister for science, technology, innovation and natural resources to fall to the glorious stewardship of all-knowing Jor-El. The reply was swift and just.

‘I am probably the best qualified around here for this post. If you’d researched it, you’d know I was a journalist. And I worked with Moff Tarkin O’Brien for 10 Earth years. I know about technology,’ said Con-or Jor-El serenely to the vexatious journalist. He did not speak these words, of course, but used a crystal lattice communications device far beyond the science of Earth to fragment his thought density to a level understandable by meagre human ‘intelligence’.
The incensed human Weckler, however, pointlessly kept repeating over and over again ‘I don’t see how that qualifies someone to be a technology boss.’
Leni-han, whose understanding was gained over millennia of learning in the powerful Leni-han Academy, felt no need to justify his appointment to an Earth termite, whose pitiful concerns with science, technology, innovation and natural resources all centered around the desperate desire to create a ‘sustainable economy’ and ‘jobs’ for other Earth termites, all of whom would ultimately die in any case.

‘What are your views on issues that a law-making executive should be aware of, such as fibre-to-the-home and next generation mobile standards. Do you have views on these things?” persisted the termite
‘Yes of course I have views on these pitifully outdated technologies,’ replied Jor-El serenely.
‘What are they?’ shrieked the Earthlet.
‘When I settle into the brief, maybe I’ll come back to you with those views,’ thought-transferred Jor-El.
‘But why not tell me now?’ whined the virus.
‘I’m not answerable to you. I do have views,’ said Jor-El, crushingly.
But what are your views?”
‘I’m not answerable to you, Earth sock-puppet. I may or may or may not come back to you with my views.’

Jor-El did not need to exert any of his incalculable strength to crush this feeble foe. Mere superior reason was sufficient. The Elders hope that in time, Earth’s ultimately unimportant food chain will come to realise what a treasure has been given to them in the form of Jor-El Leni-han, Junior Minister for for science, technology, innovation, natural resources and wind instruments. But they probably won’t.

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