Jesus Criticizes “Offensive Church” In His Image

The popular fictional character from children’s literature Mr Jesus Christ has today launched a scathing attack on the Catholic church, now in it’s second millennia, for cashing in on his image and teachings in an”offensive” way.

Benedict XVI, the 6 Billion Dollar Hermit

Benedict XVI, the 6 Billion Dollar Hermit who chooses to interpret Jesus' teachings of love and poverty by living in the largest and most plush priest hole in history


The church uses Mr Christ’s image and much of his life story in daily and weekly displays of wealth and splendour. It also causes suffering and hardship to victims of it’s crimes of collusion with systemic child abuse supported by a cabal of elderly men led by a German mystic.

Mr Christ, a celebrated victim of oppression and hate crimes said: “Respect for my Word, the Word of God, is neither displayed in the actions of the Catholic church or entwined in their lives.

“It is regrettable and unacceptable that this ‘church’ seeks to continually profit from my story in such an offensive way.”

Cork South Central Fine Gael TD Jerry Buttimer was unavailable for comment.

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