Jack Russell Terrier Appointed To State Board

It has emerged that Patch Healy Rae, a 2-yr-old Jack Russell dog belonging to Jackie Healy-Rae, was appointed to the State Injuries Board just days before Kerry TD Jackie Healy-Rae announced his support for the recent budget.

State Board Appointee Patch Healy-Rae

State Board Appointee Patch Healy-Rae

The government has defended the appointment in a statement which says:

“Master Healy-Rae is a qualified dog with 14 doggy-years experience in the area of injuries. Only last week he injured a postman, a local Sinn Fein member and Mr. Healy-Rae himself, whom he mistook for an unusually large squeaky toy. Appointing minority groups, such as dogs, to State Boards is part of an ongoing policy of social inclusion at all levels of government and administration in the state”.

Sources have denied that a fish belonging to Michael Lowry is hotly tipped to be appointed to the board of Bord na gCon. A senior civil servant paused briefly from loading his massive bonus into the boot of his Mercedes to point out that appointing a fish to a dog-related board was stupid. He hinted that a cute rabbit belonging to Jackie Healy-Rae’s niece Jacqui Healy-Rae might be in the running.

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