Irony Latest – Blind Faith Blinds Faithful

Pilgrims attending alleged appearances at Knock by the ghost of a dead Judean freedom fighter’s mother who passed away herself 2000 years ago have been described as ‘gullible’ and ‘needlessly blind’.

An eye surgeon in Galway has described as “unprecedented” the rise in the number of cases of an eye condition which can be directly attributed to people staring at the sun during recent events at the Knock shrine, or to use a common medical term ‘primitive stupidity’

The consultant ophthalmologist surgeon in University Hospital Galway, says the hospital would usually see only one case of solar retinopathy per year.

However, thanks to the recent outbreak of nonsense there have been five such cases, all of which have been linked to events at Knock. There may be more cases that have not come to light as the victims may be afraid of attending hospital in case somebody tries using a camera to steal their soul.

People needed to be warned of primitive stupidity as it was “potentially very, very dangerous” and could cause long-term damage to the most vulnerable part of the eye in particular, and society in general.

“These people came in because they have had a significant reduction in their ability to distinguish between reality and a mediaeval fairy tale – and they could very well be a smaller representative sample” another doctor said, adding that two of those who had presented to the hospital had also reported that other members of their families had suffered visual damage as a result of staring obsessively at our nearest star in the hope that the virgin Mary was hanging out in it for a chat.

“It can potentially lead to blindness, or in the case of prolonged exposure, Iran” a hospital spokesfrontlinehealthworker said.

Pilgrims are unconvinced however. One such, Eithne Micmathuna Og O’Fiarlara (pictured) told The Emergency “I know what I saw and it was the mother of god. Where are you? I can hear your voice… where are you hiding ye wee proddy feck?” she said

Another apparition has been forecast by ‘visionary’ Joe Coleman for this Saturday at 3pm. Attempts to contact MrColeman by staring obsessively at his house last night were unsuccessful.

“Since the time of Galileo people have known that looking directly at the sun can do damage to your eyes,” the Galway eye surgeon said. Galileo is fondly remembered by the catholic church as a trouble maker who pointed out the true nature of the heavens. The vatican susequently conceded that he was in fact correct. 400 years later

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