Impressive Shouty Fighty Cowen Defends State Official Bonuses

Acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen has defended the awarding of up to €200,000 in individual bonus payments to state officials. The bonuses came to light in a reply to questions from Fine Gael Spokesman on Smarts and Clevers, Fergus O’Dowd.

However the Taoiseach has shoutily assured the Dáil that these are not in fact bonus payments but are instead part of “the overall aggregate payments made to officials under agreements made formerly and in a context where they were the only right arrangement to make at the time and are a clear case where you have to make the distinction between things that are distinct. I’m in fighting form, you know”.

Brian Cowen Thinking About Shouting Fighty Stuff

Acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen impresses onlookers in the Dáil Impressed Gallery by thinking about what he will shout next in a fighty way, thus demonstrating his utter mastery of matters of state.

The Taoiseach has explained that the payments are made under agreements from the past and cannot be changed. This now seems to be government policy as it is in line with Acting Finance Minister Brian Lenihan’s insistence that the bonuses in AIB are a result of agreements from the past and absolutely must not be paid.

Media observers, particularly those in the impartial state broadcaster RTFF, have praised the Taoiseach’s recent shouty fightiness, which analysts have pointed is both louder and more fighty than previously, clearly indicating a divine right to rule.

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply