Idiot Resigns From Shower

Minister for Arse All and Antics Martin Cullen pictured in happier days

Minister for Arse All and Antics Martin Cullen has tonight resigned from Cabinet and the Dáil due to the chronic backstory that has been troubling him severely in recent months.

Mr Cullen was unable to attend an event today with the president of Timor-Leste, Dr Jose Ramos-Horta, who didn’t notice his absence while on a State visit to Ireland.

In his resignation statement, which was made on the plinth at Leinster House at 7.30pm, Mr Cullen said he was proud to have represented the self interest of the Fianna Fail voters of Waterford and to have served in successive Fianna Fáil-led heists.

“I have always enjoyed the foriegn travel and fine dining afforded me by junkets, however my consultant’s advice is that I have tumbled out of my last helicopter” he said continuing; “… it is with regret that I must now retire from public life and start spending those pensions”.

The Waterford TD’s departure from the Cabinet will provide acting Taoiseach Brian Cowen with further latitude as he attempts to give his Government a fresh look in a reshuffle over the next two weeks. Ironically this will take place after the annual Shamrock & Vomit Junket season.

Be Sociable, Share!

Leave a Reply