Health Corner – Ask Dr Jim!

Dr James Reilly FG MD OMFG

As a doctor, I’m asked many questions. A regular one is “Was the Taoiseach drunk or hungover on the radio yesterday morning?” ~ well, medically speaking, I think it unlikely that he was actually hungover during the course of the interview; that would be impossible – it is far more likely that he is only experiencing a massive hangover today as it would have taken at least 24 hours for his liver and other major organs to process that much booze.

Here’s another “Dear Dr Jim, often after bouts of drink fuelled stupidity I hear ‘tweeting’ sounds and experience increased paranoia that my enemies are organising a massive and impressively orchestrated campaign against me. Am I from Offally?”
~ well, firstly, you’re not just from Offally. You appear to be suffering from what we doctors call Coveney’s Lucky Strike Syndrome which is usually caused when a particular irritant appears to make the running on a news issue even though hundreds of other less easily identified antifiannafailbodies have attacked your performance. This is perfectly normal. As to the ‘tweeting’ sounds you may have an extreme case of Arrogant Disconnection which is diagnosed when a patient displays an inability to process information on new social media platforms quickly. In most cases this will lead to more mainstream awareness of the patient’s shortcomings and ultimately loss of the patient’s job. You can walk away and ignore the ‘tweeting’ sounds in a huff which is called Varadkar’s Disorder; however, this invariably leads to an increased sense (in others) of the sufferer’s innate twattishness.

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