Government Press Office Releases View From Lenihan’s Office
The rest of the country may be in the grip of a big freeze but there is at least one corner of the state where it is forever toasty warm and nice. Officials at the Department of Selling Ireland Downriver To The ECB have this morning released a snapshot of the view from Brian Lenihan – and it’s all good
Mr Lenihan, hotly tipped by leading Fianna Fail loon-matron Mary O’Rourke as next party leader, is delighted with the upturn in our economic fortunes. “Look, let’s be perfectly clear about this” he said “We have turned a corner, there is no need to draw down the generous rescue fund provided by our good friends in Europe now that the economy is functioning at a higher level than ever before hitherto and I want as I say to be perfectly clear about this. Look” he said.
The Minister has privately told two household pets and an imaginary dragon that he expects Fianna Fail to return a massive 2.8 million TDs to Leinster House after the next general election. That would make Fianna Fail the largest party in the state ahead of Enda Kenny’s estimate of 1.7 million Fine Gael TDs.
Using his spookiest voice Mr Lenihan advised caution and warned against complacency however: “There’s a lot of speculation about parties of the ‘left’ and ‘civic pride’ – let me be perfectly clear looking about this. Everything will be fine. Trust us. We know what we are doing. You don’t want to upset the applecart with a load of untrained citizen politicians and lefties trying to do a deal they don’t understand with the bond markets and our generous colleagues in Europe. If anybody is going to do that properly it us the party of the Irish people, Fianna Fail”.
Fianna Fail is expected to launch it’s campaign for the general election shortly under the new slogan FIANNA FAIL – GOING FORWARD TO THE BRONZE AGE later this month.