Government Plan To Pay Long Term Unemployed Dole At Work

The government is planning a scheme whereby long term unemployed will retain their dole whilst returning to work, 2irish News has learned by reading the paper.

Under the scheme as many as 166 TDs would be enabled to return to work and still keep their state handouts. Preference would be given to those who have not worked for a long time and this is expected to favour parties in government as it is an undisputed fact that this has not worked for quite some time.

Also under consideration in a raft of measures to combat high unemployment figures are a number of other measures including:

  • Extending a work experience programme for young people and graduates. This would be done by pretending.
  • Lending a percentage of Irish unemployment figures to Germany the day before statistics are published and then taking them back the day after
  • Sitting under the table in the Department of The Taoiseach with fingers in ears going “La la la la la la la la la…”
  • Lying
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