Gormley: John O’Donoghue Must Be Dealt With Urgently

The leader of the Green Party John Gormley has said that the matter of Ceann Comhairle John O’Donoghue’s expenses must be dealt with urgently.

“At a time when attention might otherwise be on the Green Party propping up the most unpopular leadership of Ireland since Oliver Cromwell, it is essential that you all look over there at the Bad Man,” Mr. Gormley yelled hysterically whilst dancing a little jig and frenetically pointing towards the chair in the Dáil.

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MISTER GORMLEY, PICTURED ABOVE LEADING THE COUNTRY EARLIER

Pressure is mounting on the Ceann Comhairle to resign after it emerged that he spent up two € 7.2 squillion on gold inlay this month alone.

“This is outrageous at a time when many ordinary people are struggling to afford even the cheaper veneers,” Mr. Gormley asserted speaking from his toxic waste incinerator early this morning. “The Ceann Comhairle should be ashamed of himself and so should I… no wait… that didn’t come out right”.

Meanwhile opposition leaders Eamon Gilmore of the Labour Party and Enda Kenny of Fine Gael have called for an urgent meeting to address this issue.

“There must be a meeting of the leaders of all the parties to decide what to do about this scandal,” said Gilmore, speaking from a mid-priced restaurant. Mr. Kenny immediately popped up from the shadows and made a strong statement:

“Me too. As the leader of the Opposition I am right behind Eamon Gilmore.”

There is a rumour that John O’Donoghue is to resign and that he may be replaced by the Green Party’s Trevor Sargent. It is thought that a deal securing the unopposed election of a Green Party TD would cause national rejoicing and dancing in the streets. With torches and possibly pitchforks.

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