Gilmore Warns Of Dangers of “Stealthy Gaelsreich”

Gilmore and Pike

Gilmore: "Pike"

Labour leader Eamon Gilmore warned voters of the dangers of handing an overall majority in the next Dáil to Fine Gael, claiming that his FG opponents were planning “A thousand year Gaelsreich of stealth taxes”.

Enda: Yoink

Enda: Yoink

Speaking in English, Irish and Breton, Mr. Gilmore claimed that, in power, Fine Gael would “sneak up on you from behind and then: ‘Yoink’ would go your money. That’s not the Labour way. We’ll come straight at you with a pike, cudgel or pitchfork”.

Enda Kenny, the most leader-like member of Fine Gael (a loose affiliatin of people not in Fianna Fáil) denied Mr Gilmore’s claims that there is a €5 billion “black hole” in his fiscal plans. “Fine Gael has a dedicated team of astrophysicists at work on our financial plans and they have assured me that at worst we might have a white dwarf, or possibly a vortex. We’re not sure about the vortex. It might just be a collection of Alan Shatter’s poetry.”

Shatter

Shatter: Poems

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