Garda Information re: Visit of HM Queen Elizabeth II from 17 to 20 May 2011

Daily information and traffic updates will be provided from Monday, 25 July 2011. The following general information is available ahead of the visit.

General advice:

All business and commercial activity will continue as normal in Dublin city as long as those businesses have already been forced to close due to recession. Those businesses expecting to be able to continue as normal should view the disruption and absence of punters as a grim warning of what may yet come.

There will be diversions and rolling road closures which will notionally be flagged in advance but are far more likely to become apparent due to the sudden appearance of traffic cones and obese desk sergeants with their faces and necks covered in factor 40 to protect them against the effect of their sudden and unexpected exposure to the world beyond their stations.

Gardaí will maintain a high visible presence both outside the city environs and in the city centre to facilitate their drawing a paycheck/pension.

There will be parking restrictions in the city centre from 06:00 a.m. on Saturday 14 May 2011 (so be sure to leave your vehicles late on the 13th maximising clamping and tow away fees).

People should use public transport where possible. There may be brief disruptions to public transport as bus drivers struggle to accomodate their nemesis “the commuter”.

Existing Park and Ride facilities continue to be available for harried commuters to drive fruitlessly around for an hour before deciding to abandon their vehicle on an adjacent residential street.

People are advised to plan their journeys in advance including routes and parking options at their final destination. They should also confirm appointments prior to travelling and ask themselves the question “Are you now or have you ever been a member of the IRA?”.

The public is advised to leave extra time for their journeys and to expect some congestion and delays as Gardai may take some time walking from their squad cars parked at the side of the road to the check point set up in the middle of the road.

For security reasons, there will be periodic searches of pedestrians and vehicles by members of An Garda Síochána at key locations – any sandwiches, confectionery or sweets may be deemed “subversive” and are liable to be eaten by a crack team of Garda desk sergeants.

Gardaí are liaising with business and local residents in the key locations and will continue to communicate directly with them in a domineering and mildy suspicious manner. The following roads are among the routes that will be subject to temporary
closures at various times between 17 May and 20 May 2011 (full details to
be notified to the public when finalised and closer to the time):

Bleedin, everywhere

Most other places

Even “the bog”.

One of the State's highly trained crime fighters turns his back on the camera to inspect a suspiciously tasty looking pie

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