Free Cheese For All – Ain’t Recession Grand?

The ‘government’ has this morning announced the distribution of free cheese to those hit hardest by the economic downturn.

Intending recipients should form an orderly supplicant line and thank the EU for its largesse in allowing this measure.

Those in receipt of cheese are instructed to eat as much of it as possible or ideally inject it directly into a major artery before clutching their chests and permanently removing themselves from the live register as a patriotic duty to the nurturing state.

A spokesman for the the Department of Agriculture told reporters that it is a parmesan measure to combat hardship.

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