Former Anglo CEO Sean FitzPension Declared Bankrupt

The former head of systemically important cesspit, Anglo Irish Bank, Mr. Sean FitzPension has been declared bankrupt after it became clear that the current heads of Anglo would not accept an alternative deal put to creditors by Mr FitzPensions Hired Goons.

Sean FitzPatrick Driving Away To Bankruptcy

Under the proposed deal, Mr FitzPension offered half his pension, the deeds to Crumlin & Kimmage and use of both the top hat and little dog pieces to creditors as part payment. However although some creditors were keen on this arrangement, Anglo said it did not believe it would get back any more of the €110 million owed to it under the proposed deal and insisted that anyway it had seen Mr FitzPension palming an extra 200 last time he passed go. A last ditch offer from FitzPensions Goons under which he would agree to hand back the tenner he won in a rigged beauty contest failed to move the new Anglo shitepilots and the Goons gave up and upended the board on the way out to the kitchen to make tea and sulk.

At no stage did Mr. FitzPension put his Get Out Of Jail Free Card on the table.

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