Fianna Fail Unveil Possible Compromise Candidate

Lifelong Fianna Fail member Una Ní Grassroots chairwoman of Arslingford UDC and committee member of the North Tipperary Salma Hayek Cummann – up for the Arás?

Following the announcement that prominent beard Fungus Finlay is seeking to join the race for the presidency speculation has intensified in the past few hours that Fianna Fail may be on the point of spectacularly snubbing Bertie Ahern’s possible run for the park by nominating a virtually unknown woman with a beard.

Lifelong Fianna Fail member Una Ní Grassroots chairwoman of Arslingford UDC and committee member of the influential North Tipperary Salma Hayek Cummann may be the soldiers of destiny’s secret weapon in any forthcoming presidential race. She is seen by many within the party to encapsulate an ‘Everyman and yet woman too’ quality, while being butch enough to attract some erstwhile MacAleese voters.

Former FF campaign manager PJ Mara took time off his current occupation freelancing as a film of algae on a pond to evaluate Mrs Ní Grassroots’ chances. “She’s unknown sure, but sure she knew your father well, eh?” he said before identifying her key attraction. “15 years ago it was all Marys. That’s SO last century. This one is all about beards. Finlay? Beard. Norris? Beard. That fucker from the GAA? Beard. Not an Adi among them. Tell you what, this lady Ní Grassroots is the dog’s. I’ll put money on it. Twenty…..go on….a tenner….five? Please…..I need money…..”

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One Response to “Fianna Fail Unveil Possible Compromise Candidate”

  1. Rosemary Hannan Says:

    Don’t care if she sprouts wings and a halo…Hmmmm!(maybe one of those Fat Fecker developers could bribe someone up above!)

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