Fears Grow That Martin May Have Caused War With China

Micheál Martin the last man to lead Fianna Fail causing a deeper gaffe with ill judged references to height when apologising to the Chinese Ambassador to Ireland during a specially staged photocall ahead of the five way Leaders Debate on RTE’s Frontline programme on Valentine’s Night

Micheál Martin, during a Valentines morning speech at a digital conference, caused insult to several million Chinese citizens and a few actual impressionists when he illustrated an anecdote about his travels in China with an appalling comedy ‘far eastern’ accent.

Later on after apologising and hinting darkly that he was not in any way responsible for the incident Mr Martin took the opportunity to beg the forgiveness of the Chinese Ambassador to Ireland Mr Liu Biwei. All went swimmingly until Mr Martin, seemingly unable to stop himself told onlookers that “Sure he’s only a little fella” and “I’m not afraid unless they all jump off of a chair at the same time”.

The incident has sparked fears of a possible war between Ireland and China which we cannot win. Unlike the one with the ECB which is going “grand” according to sources at the Department of Finance.

A spokesman for Fianna Fail said that the party welcomes the challenge of going to war with the second most powerful and successful industrial economy in the world stating; “Sure we’ve pissed off everyone else, it was only a matter of time before riled the Chinese – the surprise is Micheál did it. We thought all you’d have to do is leave Conor Lenihan in an empty room for a couple of weeks with a phone and an international telephone directory”.

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