Exchequer Shortfall €2billion Greater Than Expected

Gardai were called early this morning to the home of a pensioner after she discovered the finance minister Brian Lendusafiver skulking in one of her kitchen presses.

The pensioner, 81 year old Mother Hubbard told reporters about her ordeal: “I had been to the cupboard earlier to fetch my poor doggie a bone” she said, “…I found that there was none. As I was in the next room about to go online and order a few tins of Kennomeat for myself and Fido, I heard a scratching sound coming from the kitchen.”

On investigating the noise, she discovered Mr Lendusafiver inside the hitherto bare cupboard on his hands and knees, looking into corners with a magnifying glass, mumbling “No way out” over and over again. After subduing him with a few deftly judged “skelps” of her bag, Mother Hubbard at first called animal rescue, but was then passed on to the Gardai at Pearse Street.

Asked if she required hospitalisation following her ordeal, the doughty pensioner laughed and said “Go way out of that. At my age I’m used to finding Fianna Fail in my handbag and purse. In any case, the hospitals are shagged”. She then administered a full round of “skelps” and went inside to listen to Joe.

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2 Responses to “Exchequer Shortfall €2billion Greater Than Expected”

  1. jack murphy Says:

    hi can you listen back …. not podcast to emergency

  2. admin Says:

    Simple answer, no, but I’ll email you.

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