European Commission Approves More Cash For Anglo

The European Commission has “temporarily approved” further cash injections in struggling gentleman’s club Anglo Irish.

An Anglo Irish Gentleman
NEW LOOK AT ARNOTT’S: Anglo Irish Gentleman’s Club Grand Whackmaster Ronán O’Slippery – Bogpig arrives to man the tills at Arnott’s early this morning.

The Commission has said the further capital injection is necessary to ensure global confidence among world gentleman in the continued gentlemanly corpulence in the Anglo Irish club. However the Commission has wanred that this a temporary decision pending its full assessment of a restructuring plan for Anglo Irish Gentleman’s club.

The plan is believed to include a drastic cutback in access to the humidor, a ban on members playing “thrash the prole” in the Big Elk Room and a 50% reduction in golf accessories and Bollinger allowances. The latter will see members scraping by on a magnum a day during the week.

Along with Ulsterbank, Anglo has also assumed control of Dublin Department Store Arnott’s. Anglo Grand Whackmasters have poo-poohed criticism of their lack of experience in the retail sector, pointing out that for some time recently Anglo was capable of selling the idea that it was an actual bank with real money and everything and so can probably sell knockdown twinsets on the high street without too much bother.

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2 Responses to “European Commission Approves More Cash For Anglo”

  1. John McDermott Says:

    Good.I love the bit about the twinsets.Unfortunately Anglo was a real bank with a mad master, who borrowed real money by the billions from overseas pensioners-and now the Irish poor;the sick, and the handicapped, have to pay it all back.
    The Germans-not the Paddies- are of course responsible.
    Without them the funny money (Euro) would never have been invented!!

  2. Pat Donnelly Says:

    If you bloody bog-trotters don’t pay back all my money, as promised at a fair rate of interest, I’ll have my bailiffs horse-whip every tenth man!

    No use whining that your houses aren’t worth much, pay up damn you! Just remember if you don’t I won’t lend you any more!!!!

    Now, sing me a song and smile while you’re doing it!

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