Endemic “Complete Swine” Flu Confirmed In Leinster House

Doctors have confirmed that Dail Eireann is utterly swamped by an ongoing outbreak of the deadly Complete Swine Flu (FF strain) which has mutated over several years of contact with other strains (including the vicous PD virus thought to have nearly died out and the wishy-washy GP strain which thrives on the underside of a lentil.)

Using tests including: listening to feedback from patients; watching the news; looking out the window and checking their bank balances, the doctors saw little hope of recovery as the condition is so well entrenched.

“Its only a matter of time before this leads to a widespread outbreak of Total Bastard Virus” one of the doctors said, continuing ” then we’re all boned”

Asked if there was any hope that this could be combatted effectively with a dose of Oppositionex (™ FineGlaxo) the doctor seemed unsure. “This kind of thing tends to linger for years, so as I said…boned”.

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