Enda Agrees To Debate Sort Of

Fine Gael Leader Edna Kenny (Mrs) emerges from his ‘spider hole’

Fine Gael Leader Enda Kenny was finally cornered after a tip-off led news media to a small, underground hole concealed next to farm buildings near the former leader’s hometown of Castlebar.

Journalists were seconds away from knocking off and going to the pub, when Enda emerged and surrendered

Earlier the news crews searching the farm discovered a so-called “spider hole”, camouflaged with bricks and dirt and covered with polystyrene and a carpet.

Some of the intrepid broadcasters looked into the hole and saw a figure inside it.

“Two hands appeared. The individual clearly wanted to surrender,” one said.

Enda Kenny was pulled out “disoriented” and “bewildered”, according to a producer from RTE’s Prime Time programme trying to track Kenny down to agree to a 3 way debate.

He put up no resistance although armed with an empty starting pistol.

“My name is Enda Kenny. I am the leader of Fine Gael and I want to negotiate,” he told the journalists in English, quickly contradicting himself by saying “Actually I want a five way debate….no…an eight way”.

Accused of changing his position and behaving erratically, Kenny responded “I know you are, but what am I?” several times before breaking down and asking to be left in anonymity.

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