Dublin’s Homeless ♡ Mayor Breen
Mornin, cirrizends. FG Geddy Breean here. FG for Fat Guntroller, accourse.
Lookid, I’m a bit scarleh to be honest witcha. Birrova climbdown called for. It’s dem bleedin’ beggars. I was incomprehensively correct for saying what I said about dem homeless scumbag beggars out begging when de poor unfortunate shoppers had only a few hours to struggle into de shops against dat awful weather. What decent Christian would want to be ouh in ih? Them homeless scumbag beggars, I said, needs to be ousted, and as Lord Major of beauriful Dublin, I am yer man.
But, cirrizends. But. Tings is different now. Dere were unknown unknowns at de time dat’s now known. Hence my honest and decent climbdown. Of course dey’re not useless scumbags. What with all de bursted pipes in de restaurants of this beautiful city, something needs to be done. Let de sponging bastards lie in de middle of our poor, flooded-out restaurants, with dere ragbags and manky blankies and soak up dat bilgewater. (At night accourse, when youse lot, de decent people, is home in youser beds, in youser houses. It’s too good for de spongebeg sparechange brigade. And dey’ll probably end up cleaner anyway.)
Dus I decree it, so dat de fair citizens of dis fair city can once again enjoy de finer tings. For I am your Fat Guntroller, and dat is how I roll.