Bertie Goes Middle East – Mediaeval Society Now Has Matching Economy Shock!

bertie bang bang
Have-a-Go crim “Bertie”

Residents in the north Dublin suburb of Drumcondra have been warned to exercise extra vigilence of their belongings following recent sightings of cheeky local ‘have-a-go’ con man Bertie Ahern – this time in far off Dubai.

An internet video of the loveable crim has surfaced showing him using his trademark mangled english to extoll the sturdiness of Dubai’s economy – barely a week later, that economy was revealed to be in ruins – believed to have disappeared into Bertie’s magical carpetbag.

Organisers of the event to promote Dubai on the world stage, local residents Sheikh Nik El Eeson and Leh Man al Bruthers broke down when they told The Emergency’s Breaking News Desk of their losses. “We all expected a few items to go missing from his hotel suite” Sheikh El Eeson said; “Soaps, showercaps, television sets, bedspreads – all of these we are used to, but this…this…what is the Irish word for him? Yes by the Profit! He is a shitehawk – this shitehawk has buggered us all with his financial jinx. He is an evil dji’in”

Leh Man al Bruthers was inconsolable; “Who will pay for the 1000s of cubic tonnes of snow that the Profit expects to adorn the rockery in my wadi? Who will drive me to public beheadings and loppings? Not ‘Lucky One-Stumped’ Abdul my chauffeur. Poor Lucky had only just escaped another lopping for a minor traffic offence and now I must lay him off to starve, leaving me with no option but to scowl impotently at my hangar full of Bentleys and Daimlers. The Profit has deserted us…in our….desert”.

Be Sociable, Share!

3 Responses to “Bertie Goes Middle East – Mediaeval Society Now Has Matching Economy Shock!”

  1. Tweets that mention Bertie Goes Middle East – Mediaeval Society Now Has Matching Economy Shock! | The Emergency -- Topsy.com Says:

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Morgan C.Jones, margareteward. margareteward said: Give them a show RT @TheEmergency: Breaking News: Bertie Goes Middle East – Mediaeval Society Matching Economy Shock! http://twurl.nl/8d0dma […]

  2. Twitted by mcj66 Says:

    […] This post was Twitted by mcj66 […]

  3. uberVU - social comments Says:

    Social comments and analytics for this post…

    This post was mentioned on Twitter by Morgan C.Jones: Breaking News @TheEmergency – Bertie Goes Middle East – Mediaeval Society Now Has Matching Economy Shock! http://bit.ly/5aw8wK

Leave a Reply