Door Falls Off Helicopter, Fails To Help Economy


Minister for Arts, Sport and Tourism Martin Couldn’t pictured at the Irish Hotels & Other Dying Industries Federation conference in Co Kerry before the incident

The door of a helicopter in which Minister for Arts, Sport and Tourism Martin Couldn’t was travelling fell off yesterday 500 feet over Killarney National Park – it is not known if it was a miracle that saved the minister, or dumb luck that he happpened to be peering at his reflection in the other door at the time of the mishap.

An official at the Department of Looking-Busy told 2 irish News that the Air Corps helicopter was bringing the minister “…out for a fly, to keep him out of trouble like” after he had spoken in the general direction of delegates at the Irish Hotels & Other Dying Industries Federation conference in Co Kerry, when the incident occurred – it had been in the air for less than three minutes when the main door on the left hand side came loose and fell to the ground.

An un-named Air Corps spokespilot told our reporter that the tragedy was nearly a red letter day for Ireland “If it had happened a split second later, they would have turned off the fasten setbelt sign and have been steeply banking left – its a shocking waste, really it is”.

In a statement yesterday Mr Couldn’t said he wanted to thank the helicopter’s crew for theis professionalism and calmness.

“I wish to extend my sincere thanks to the Air Corps Fly-Funny-Looking-Ship fellas, for their professi…..prumny….prollorfessy…doing their hard work thing this afternoon. They were cool like on the telly,” he said.

The Minster for the Indefensible, Wee Willie O’Deee, and the Army Chief of Ironic Statements About The State Of The Country, Lieutenant General Gideon Mime have been fully updated on the situation and will be receiving a report on the incident in due course.

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