Devil Plays Down Calls From Faust For Renegotiation Of Pact

The Devil, Mister Cowen, has said there is no need for the “renegotation” of the Satanic Programme For Government with Green Party Leader John “Faustus” Gormley.

Mr. Gormley had earlier hinted that the Green Party would be looking for “a little bit of its soul back” from The Devil, in the light of recent events which have made Hell “a little hotter and more diabolical than was envisaged at the time of the formation of the pact”.

However the Devil was quick to pour brimstone onto the idea. “Mwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Going forward,” he cackled to Emergency Reporter Prionnsias O’Toole from the Very Depths of Hades Itself this afternoon. “Faustus and his little green imps knew the number of prongs they were impaling themselves on when they made the pact and nothing has changed. They go forward with us or they writhe in the eternal nothingness of electoral limbo”, he quipped.

Dan Boyle, a Green Party member of the all-powerful Senate, has insisted that the Greens need to be allowed renegotation. “We’re okay with the writhing in agony, but feel that the tormenting imps could be put to better use in other areas given the state of Hell’s economy”, he said.

The main leader of the Inquisition, Enda Kenny, claimed that the Greens were planning on exiting their pact with The Devil, but this was denied by Faustus Gormley who said: “We are in Hell for eternity now and that’s all there is too it. Could you just ease that red hot skewer out a bit now, O Horned One? Ouch.”

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