Dangerous Iceberg Steps Down
Sunk it’s last ship…
An iceberg which is believed to be responsible for mass sinkings has announced the end of his 27-year floating dangerously in the Atlantic career last night, confirming that he was stepping down as a danger to shipping.
The iceberg said his proudest moment in office was playing a part in the sinking of the entire merchant fleet, thousands of cars and countless aspirations. He said he had no future plans but would be playing an active part as a former gargantuan chunk of killer ice canvassing for Fianna Fáil in the forthcoming general election.
The iceberg refused to reveal the date that it would melt, and also refused to comment on strong speculation that a very similar iceberg from the same floe called Barry, would now seek to sink boats on canals.
The iceberg made his announcement on Radio Caroline, saying he had consulted with his seals and polar bears before arriving at his final choice.
Speaking in an emotional voice, the iceberg thanked the floaters in his wake for their support which, he said, had enabled him to enjoy a lengthy career during which he had sunk an entire country.
Speaking afterwards, the iceberg said that, with the benefit of hindsight, it was easy to criticise the sinkings he had been instrumental in but he was satisfied that his integrity and good name were intact. Whereupon he boiled away into steam and flood water.